I was sitting fully clothed in the shower, water seeping through the butt of my trackies when it happened.
No not a mid-life incontinence problem, but good to know I have that to look forward to.
I was doing battle once again against the patches of black mold in the shower, years in the making from previous tenants.
And it was – as it was prone to do – giving me all sorts of attitude back.
“Ah”, it winked at me, “I see you are trying once again with some heavy duty chemical to be rid of me. But no, I’m sticking around like the regrets of that terrible ex-boyfriend from your 20s.”
That was the moment.
I was sick of wearing a woollen hat to bed in winter, sick of the cold eating through four layers of clothing.
I had once been one of those very smug people. You may recognise the description.
While my friends twisted their hands in anxiety over their mortgage, I sat in my chair smug that not I, no never, would get a mortgage. I was a renter for life. No strings attached, thanks all the same.
But that mould broke me. So, I held out my hands and allowed the chains to be applied and bought a house. And felt more freer than I ever had.
I still have a lot of work to do on my circa 1910s villa. Now don’t make that face, it has five bedrooms, two of which are attic studies where my books and I happily spend our weekends.
And with myself as the purchaser, it was all I could afford.
I get on the ladder, and knees knocking, patch-up my roof with some magic tape tar stuff I bought from Mitre 10.
I installed a Shower Dome at Easter (actually that’s a lie. I watched my Pa install it, but I did give him our best imported French fig jam with the hot-cross buns).
I am now at the stage where I know what I want, sort of, but get quite frightened by the choice online.
I bookmark pages, save pins but can never remember where and what it was. I just want to take my house photos to someone and get it all addressed in one place.
So join me, dear readers, as I travel around the Home Show folk and see if they can help me out.
The show has been helping out homeowners for 20 years – surely it can help me? Please.